Words by Nid Ra
Change is a good thing, we just need to stay steady and accept what happens around us - right? Except, It’s not always that simple. So here are some tips for navigating the changes that occur when you move home based on my own experiences.
Imposed moving home/space in the mind
It’s said that we are all only a few steps to becoming homeless. All it takes is an illness, indefinite absence from the workforce, an argument, and suddenly, there is no sofa to sleep on. One night becomes another and another until homelessness occurs. It can be easy to judge someone in the street for ‘letting’ it happen to them. But the reality is, it takes very little.
At age 31, I had an accident that caused severe health issues and resulted in me leaving my legal career and finding myself living on disability “benefits” of £70 per week. Unable to afford my flat, I packed my life into my car and moved around, sleeping in different people’s homes for over 18 months.
I felt anger at my losses. I was frustrated at losing my independence and raged with jealousy at others who complained about working when I was too sick to work and support myself. I was infuriated by the NHS and the substandard medical support I received. I felt let down by the legal profession for not supporting my needs, and angry with the British government for inadequate benefit provisions to those with disabilities.
But these feelings only made my health worse.
Eventually, through mindfulness practices, I became aware that my health deteriorated when I did not take care of my thoughts. Negative thoughts contracted my head, brought on migraines and made me emotionally unstable. Conversely, proactive efforts to reside in the space between my thoughts reduced my pain. From the space created through these mindfulness practices came the ability to consciously reframe my situation. I had to act and to deal with my new life choices.
What was my ‘home’ now?
I realised that my ‘home’ was my body and that how I chose to care for it mattered. If I nurtured it, I felt better and I could enjoy more experiences. With more enjoyable experiences came better health and the increased ability to rehabilitate.
I was grateful for my body to be still working at all, to be able to breathe with ease, walk slowly, smell, eat and listen to music.
Stability was cultivated through my attitude towards my physical environment. When I accepted where I was I could adapt to the situation, no matter how small or non-ideal.
Changes, expectations, and being present in geographical space
After four years of recovery, I wanted to leave the UK. I had no plan, except to follow the sunshine and heat, and I ended up moving to Sydney, Australia, due to falling in love.
When changes like this occur in life, there are expectations (imposed by others or internally created) about what comes next. If the outcome fails to align with these expectations then the enjoyment of the new situation may be compromised. These expectations can also create anxiety about potential negative outcomes, or through poorly managed excitement that manifests as anxious thoughts. Additionally, other people ask all kinds of questions, express opinions about what we are doing, offer suggestions that they think will support us and concerns that they want to share.
It can all seem very overwhelming.
Visa issues delayed my work in Australia and during the three months I spent waiting to start my new life, I met some inner darkness. I sat in indecision. I got stressed about what to ‘do’ with my new life. As I watched a friend leave Australia and force deadlines that created stress for themselves when there was no need, and many possibilities for fun were missed, I saw that I had done the same.
I needed to reconnect to patience and the rhythm of life.
I started to take the time to appreciate the beauty of the world and to connect with strangers authentically. These strangers made suggestions of volunteer opportunities that I could undertake, where I went on to meet people and discover heart-filled communities that did not ask me questions I could not answer.
We often rush the change that we desire and forget to flow with the opportunities that we have already created. When we try to control, we lose the synchronicities with life that arise when we are patient. Changes that we choose, like my move to Australia, require us to make a conscious effort to not force our goals but to allow the magical unfolding of life to occur.
Once I began to connect into my heart everything shifted. My visa was granted, work offers arrived and ideas flowed for my new life. It’s so easy to get caught up in the pace of city life, to sense the anxiety and stress of meeting expectations of ourselves and others. Yet, taking the time every day to connect into the heart and truly listen to it makes each day brighter. More surprise events happen and opportunities present that are exciting and deeply fulfilling.
In a relaxed state of mind, it’s possible to release expectations and judgments around an upheaval such as moving home. Focus instead on connecting to the geography of a new location, see the local sights, eat local food and meet the resident people. This refreshes the mind with the diversity in the world and abundant possibilities available to us all.
Take walks in nature.
Spend time talking to strangers in the street or shops.
Volunteer for charities and events.
Join clubs to meet and connect with people.
Learn new skills.
Face some fears!
Have a vision and let it go, have no expectations of how it will manifest and listen for the signs.
The Nomad’s Home
Travelling is often equated to freedom. Like a nomad who was free to wander the lands. Yet, freedom without awareness can become a lack of self-responsibility to ‘build’ one’s life.
As I travelled the world teaching on retreats I had no plan for my home, save for where I was at that moment in time. I needed permission to ‘not have a plan’ and the time out to ‘just heal’. I loved this freedom of what I was creating inside of me. I was not building a ‘future’ but re-building the home of my soul - my body and mind.
Not everyone loves to travel. Constant geographic movement of mechanical travel de-stabilises the mind, body and energy as the fields of energy around the Earth may not be properly integrated into the body and its systems at each location. Initially, flying often, frequent trains and long bus journeys increased my anxiety levels. The mind becomes carried away with the next place, logistics and itinerary, we depart the present moment. It can be exhausting.
Yet, it is inherent in us to wander through places. Nomadic life is deeply connected to the Earth and her cycles. Through this connection with nature and rhythms we can ensure proper nourishment of the body, mind and spirit as a focal point for the present moment. Simple actions like walks, getting out into nature and breathwork are all good tools to come back to the present moment during travels.
Thanks to abundant time in nature I began to sleep again and the migraines lessened. Each time I travelled to a new place I considered the travel arrangements as late as possible, this permitted flow of opportunities to arise each day. Each new place was my ‘home’ and I ceased to compare or create judgments. I accepted each home for the time it was and as it came to an end, I felt the rhythm of it ceasing with loving acceptance and ease.
Home is always with you. Connect to the present moment and flow with your natural rhythms to live with ease.
My 5 top tips on moving home
Through all of these changes there are larger lessons and daily lessons to apply in the process of moving home. Whatever the reason for the change, however the emotions flow, these five steps can hold you steady in each day of change:
Always follow your heart. It is softly spoken so take the time to be quiet in body and mind, then focus your attention into the heart space and wait for the whispers. It will be gentle and probably a little scary to follow.
Be clear on your life values. What are the core 3-5 things that you need wherever you are?
E.g. sunshine, mountains, family, etc.
Focus on fun. It can be easy in the stress of change to forget to smile and laugh. But we are attracted to those enjoying themselves, so make the change fun and good people will come to support you.
Nourish yourself. Change is stressful and the way to stay strong is by nourishing the body, mind and spirit. Move, meditate, eat healthy, sleep and get into nature.
Release expectations. Life is unpredictable so be open to how the new life unfolds. Remember the lessons of the old life and wisely pick what will support growth in the new life. Dates may change and activities vary so flow with them and see what opportunities enter the new doorway.
I hope that my story and some of these tips are useful. If you want to find out more about my online training (it includes mentoring through life change), then check my page: https://omegamovement.org/at-home-programs-nid
Nid loves all her incarnations as an energy healer and coach, massage therapist, teacher of mind-body movement through yoga and Pilates, and blog writer. She is a passionate messenger on how to find your truth and live in alignment with your soul. Her work attracts people going through major life changes, long-term pain or health issues to discover how to live life with joy in mind, body, and spirit. She can be found working on retreats and online worldwide at https://www.omegamovement.org/
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